Done

I am burnt out.  I knew what I was walking into with working for RAD Services, AND I did not realise just how deep the racist and discriminatory waters were.  This is like a whole 'nother level.  Ad I'm not even about keeping up appearances anymore, cause I make minimum wages--I'd need at least another $10/hr plus dental and vision to handle all of their shit.

So I'm going into survival mode, and... disengaging.  With the white folks I work with, who are so blindly ignorant and racist I'm surprised they manage not to spew racial slurs with every other word.  Oh wait, they spew ablelist and xenophobic shit instead!!  :throws shade:   With the light-skin poc who just can't understand certain (read: most) elements of what I face as a dark-skinned Black person.  Throw in my trans* identity and I might as well be speaking a Dead language.

I am still amazed every day at the new and innovative ways that casual racism, homophobia, trans*phobia, xenophobia are enacted in this workplace.  White people of the Pacific Northwest are their own special type of ignorant white folks.  Cause they sure as hell know when they're doing racist shit where I'm from.  Once again I will say I'd much rather see the Confederate flag flying in your yard and know not to walk into your house, rather than be invited inside and have to endure the condescending covert racism of these psuedo-liberals.

Birth Name

It's been more than a few weeks since anyone has used my birth name, family excluded.  It's nice that folks are finally getting with it.  But then, you know, there are those bigots who just can't respect my choice to change my name--it being mine and all--and feel the need to use my birth name.

Yes, of course they're cis. 

I think it's funny and more than a little pathetic that some folks, who I don't even give a shit about, try to cow me and throw some weak-ass shade on me by using my birth name.  It's almost like they're more attached to it than I am. Which is weird and is their shit to work through.

And I just wanna say to those bigots....

FUCK YOU STUPID ASS MOTHERFUCKEN TRANSPHOBIC ASSHOLES!!!  

:drops mic:

Black, Like Me

This was composed Friday morning while scrubbing toilets at the ungodly hour of 830am.  Because apparently, it takes a person of colour--a Black person--to talk about the blatant racism in the workplace.  Some things you can't leave for white folks to do, cause they never get it right....

---------

I work with predominantly white people.  Like, there are four of us who are immediately noticeable as persons of colour and a few mixed race folks flying under the radar.  I am the only Black person.  And for some strange reason, I hear folks throwing around Black vernacular,  words like 'dawg', 'yo', 'fo' sho'....  I hear my white co-workers singing along to music with the n-word in it....  And this makes me pause, and occassionally a little confused...  Because last time I checked, I didn't work with any other Black folk, which means I shouldn't be hearing that word at work.  But I do, because I work for RAD Services.  And we all know what the R stands for....

I was venting a bit to a good friend about the racism, sexism, misogyny--among other patriarchal branches on this RAD Services tree--and she told me what she's done in the past when confronted with unacceptable music and/or behaviour at her job.  One incident in particular involved her taking the offending iPod--and radio--and throwing it off a balcony.... :slow clap:  My hero.  I'm going to take similar steps if I EVER hear the n-word while on the clock.

Since I like lists, I'm going to make a quick one for my co-workers, in case they feel the urge to continue to appropriate elements of Black culture, cause they think it's 'hip' or 'cool'.  This might also save them from my fierce side-eye (during work hours) and/or a dumpster beating (off the clock).

1) You. Are. Not. Black. I don't care how much rap and/or hip-hop you listen to.  Your ass is not Black

2) Since YOU ARE NOT BLACK you don't get to use Black vernacular without being called on your racism. Example: "Yo Auri! What up dawg?!"

3) Since YOU ARE NOT BLACK you do not get to use the n-word. EVER.

4) I am Black. :gasp: Thanks for noticing!!  And I will not be having conversations about how you can stop your racist behaviour.  I'm not paid to help you through that.  However, there's this amazing website called Google, and it can.

You work for RAD Serices and you're reading this...?  Fan-fucking-tastic!!!  Distribute  W I D E L Y

Blabbles and Empty Thoughts

I'm sitting in my warm, Sunny living room trying to come up with a blog post, since it's been nearly a week since I've updated CMQ and I'm trying to do so more regularly.  I'm hitting the Wall.  Not because I'm at a loss for words--I've got my Gemini swag back on--more like, how can I see into the rushing Stream of thought to pull out something that pertains to being Black, queer, trans* etc....    Most of those thoughts are being stored in The Cave lately, because they're too private to be public.

Well, I have an idea...  let's see where it takes us.....

I've been asking this question at work, "Would you rather be respected, or loved?"  A bit of philosophy in the workplace is almost asking too much, but I need to keep myself entertained enough that I don't go breaking things just so I can fix them.  It's really interesting to hear people's responses--many of them are apprehensive around me (something to do with me being perceived as a hardass)--and are waiting for nonverbal cues from me to see if they have the 'right' answer.  I'm not so generous.  It's interesting who answers firmly, who changes their responses based on my (lack of) body language, and who impresses me with the complexity of their answers.  I think the most intriguing part is who actually asks me what my answer would be.  I've asked some 10+ individuals and have only been queried twice.  I have a growing interest in these two people, and am thus making it my 'job' on the job to heckle them.  It's better than being bored.  Bored Geminis are dangerous folks....