Letters to You

When the Sun goes away I turn inward for warmth and reflection.  My third winter in the Pacific Northwest and I'm beginning to get the hang of this vitamin D regiment, which is one of the strictest schedules I've been on. Sometimes I wonder if I'm going to overdose form taking so many IUs.... -___-

That's not where I was going with this....

Sunday I woke up at 2am and wrote a letter. I didn't say everything I needed to, but I got damn-near close and then i forgot I wrote it, until this evening, when i re-read it.  It's almost illegible, but I can see me in it.  The me I don't let out too often, but apparently peeks through the bars (yes BARS!!) late at night.

It's a letter I can't send but I wish I desperately could. I don't want to carry this burden anymore.....

Today's Battle

Today I had an appt with my Oly doc. She's not trans* competent, although she has other trans* patients.  She's not willing to educate herself anymore than she already has, which isn't very much at all

And I've decided to find another provider. My mother didn't give so much of herself so that I could have healthcare to put up with that transphobic BS

Fuck that noise.

It's a shame too cause the staff are excellent.  Too bad they can't train their employer on how to be a more compassionate person.

But that's her mess to deal with.

Are You a Boy or a Girl?

I think I've been asked this question at least three times a week since I've started working at the elementary school.  The Kindergarteners who I work with, as well as the older students. Even the teacher have asked it in their own way when they kept changing the gender pronouns and looking mortified when they didn't know what to refer to me as.

It's been really interesting working with kids (again) because they don't give a flying fuck what my gender is, only that I'm there to squirt ketchup on their burgers, or tie their shoelaces, or help them solve an dispute over how many times they get to swing before it's someone else's turn.

Kids are the best.