Influence

The fact that your silence can sway me so much that my axis changes course....
and is righted by a few words, speaks volumes.

It's fantastic, and scary... and somehow right.

Trans*Talk

I'm feeling a little conflicted.  Today I twice engaged in trans*talk with cis folks.  While that in itself is not problematic, I kind of feel like I breached some code of secrecy.  Like in Harry Potter, where there's the Int'l Statue of Secrecy.  -____-

It's kind of like with white folks and talking about the Black experience.  But then there are movies and tons of literature about that.  The trans* experience is still flying under the radar, so it's a bit more... complex.

... I think it's also the sometimes tactless questions that arise, and having to figure out how to buffer them.  For example, asking me about whether or not I intend to 'go on hormones' or 'have the Surgery' (I'm grimacing as I write this) is to be all up in my business.  I don't even know if there's a cis equivalent, it's so offensive.  It's just rude and disrespectful, and asking about intensely personal things in such a nonchalant way? When people live and die by these things?  I just... I can't.

I've been contemplating on a way to deflect these inappropriate questions posed by ignorant cis folks in a gentler way, while still being direct....  Until that time, I'm gonna be smashing toes when people ask the stupidest questions as if they were my best fucking friend or my fucking physician.

Cis folks doing the most....

Tired

This is a rant.  Pardon the profanity, but I'm fucking pissed.

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I am so fucking tired.... of mutherfuckers who think they can police my gender.  When I say my name is Auri, I mean it.  It's not a 'real thing' when someone else calls me by that name; it's a 'real thing' as soon as I say it is.  I don't need your approval, your recognition, or your words to validate my identity.  Fuck you.  The same goes with my fucken pronouns.

And for folks who call  themselves my 'allies'... I'ma need you to step it up.  Being an ally means taking the pressure off of me when your ignorant ass friends open their ignorant ass mouths.  It is not is not IS NOT my responsibility to educate the ignorant ass people you keep around you and call your 'friends'.  There is a very specific reason I choose not to interact or even be around them.  Making excuses for their continued ignorance does not help me, them, or you.  In fact, they are playing into the hands by perpetuating the oppressive systems we live under.

And fucken telling me to calm down when I constantly see my oppressions manifesting on an interpersonal in-your-face level, does not help.  Check yo'self to see how much of the Oppressor you're letting rent space in your Soul.

I fucken need my 'allies' to step it up.  Interrupt oppression when you hear/see/are around it.  And school your friends if they don't know.  This means having my back when you hear mis-pronouning, not using my preferred name, mis-gendering, gender policing and shit like that.  Either you do this all the time, or you get the fuck away from me.

**end rant**

Preferred Name and Pronouns

Hi, my name is Auri and I use they/them/theirs pronouns.  He/him/his are ok too.

I just wanted to make a little list about what happens in my head when folks don't use my preferred name/pronouns.

1) I feel invalidated.  I feel like shit because I don't think I'm important enough in your life for you to remember my fucking name and pronouns. I'm your friend? You care for me? Then fucking remember!  You're most likely not the first person today that has 'forgotten' (read: fucked up) my name and/or pronouns.

2) I hate you a little bit.  I recognise that you 'forget' and all, but I still hate you, just a little. Because you've made me feel like shit.

3) I lose respect for you. Especially if you've been told before which name and pronouns I prefer.  Transphobia is an ugly thing, and your taking part in it!

4) I hold grudges.  It's my Scorpio moon, what can I say?

Also check out my list of how you can support me.