09 February 2014

"Wait... Your Partner's Black??"


What I was thinking about last night, was how I have heard nearly all of my friends--hmm... Yes.  I have heard nearly all of my friends, at some point or another, mention--directly or not--that their family would be borderline mortified if they took up with a Black person.

At this point in my life, I don't even raise an eyebrow anymore. Anti-Blackness is so real--in and outside communities of colour--I'm surprised when I don't hear someone mention how they could never date/marry a Black person without some relative flipping a table in disapproval. It doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt or that I don't feel saddened that people of African descent are still regarded as undesirable and less than, if not sub-human. I just am no longer surprised when I hear this.

"Look at Dat Big Booty!"


Yesterday I was thinking about how infuriated I get when I see non-Black folks Gazing at Black bodies. I don't care who the Black person is or my relationship to them--instantly at 100max and biting my tongue ferociously to not say something catastrophically scathing.

I was thinking in particular when I was hanging out with some folks recently and they were commenting on a Black athlete's butt. The guy was just doing his thing, ya know, working and playing his sport, but these non-Black folks were all like, "Damn look at dat big booty!" I had to close my eyes, both in prayer for patience at the appropriative use of AAVE, and to  avert the shade daggers that threatened to take out the room. Not here for it, because that's my life, everyday. That non-Black Gaze that rates and assesses not only the relevancy of my existence, but also objectifies my worth against the white man, while simultaneously fetishising my body as a sexual tool.  And this is just for the mere fact that I am Black. I haven't added any other identities.

It's like we will never get a break. Even the most 'enlightened' and 'aware' folks say this fucked up shit in casualness, as if commenting on someone's body--their body--while they are just living, and making remarks about it is ok in any circumstance. 

Oh, wait. 

That person's Black, i.e. hypersexual, sexually available, deviant, animalistic, less than human, 'asking for it', a potential sexual threat, 'I wonder how big his dick is?' 'I wonder what that Black person is like in bed?'. They're totally fair game.

These are the things I hear when a non-Black person comments on a Black person's body. It's as if history is screaming in my ear, spewing all of the physical, emotional, mental and psychological assault and trauma my ancestors endured, my family endures, my peers endure, I endure, my children will endure. We have to have endurance to deal with this constant assault of animalising, anti-Black bullshit. 

And I am so tired of merely enduring.