Molly Fisch

I have a friend, called Molly Fisch.

I remember first meeting her, vividly. I disliked her on principle.  After living in the PNW, I had learnt to be wary of people who looked like her: skinny, white, 'qurirky femme' and leaning towards 'punk'.  And she probably biked.  I found out later that she did. And painfully awkward.

I met her because she was going to be my new boss-ish person for my internship.  I dislike change, and I was directing all of my apprehensions and frustrations at her.  About a week later, I decided to give her a chance, and honest chance. If she fucked up, then I'd play nice, nice enough to make sure my evals for my internship didn't hurt my overall transcript.

I'm really glad I gave her that chance.

Molly Fisch has turned out to be one of my most solid support people in this little town.

We both arrived in this little town at the same time (Sept '10)--me from FL and her from the Bay area. Despite our different upbringings, we bond over our social awkwardness, our love of pho, and the weirdness of the PNW.  But most of our conversations revolve around relationships--usually familial and romantic.

We regale each other with our latest relationship ish, and end up coming back to the topic of communication. I owe the majority of my latest communication growth to Molly Fisch. She says I give her inspiration to be more bold in new social situations. It's a good balance.

I think it was serendipitous that our paths crossed.  I love her. I hope she's in my life for many years to come.

Scorpio Moon

It's hot or cold

It's all or nothing

It's love or indifference.

There is no 'in-between'

There is no gray area

It's a ready 'yes' or a firm 'no.

The bonus of a Scorpio moon

is that my intuition 

lets me slice right through the bullshit.

Life's hard enough without excess shit to wade through.

Misogyny & Me

Recently a lot of my female-identified and femme-presenting friends have been talking about being hit on, verbally harassed, and otherwise accosted by nasty cis men in public spaces.

And I'm wondering why I don't hear about it more.  Is this a Summertime deal, since folks are dressing for the unseasonably hot weather, or are dudebros feeling super bold and mouthy form all the Sunshine we're getting?

Listening to my friends vent has been super enlightening and makes me think back to times before I began transitioning (because three years is apparently enough time for me to forget some things) ....

In what ways did (aggressive) misogyny affect me?

How did unwarranted/lewd/asshole comments impact the way I moved in the world?

and some questions that I now hold, namely

in what ways am I an asshole with this cis male-passing benefits?

I don't need to be leering on the street to be an asshole--cutting my friends off in conversations, taking up unnecessary space, not interrupting problematic situations when it's safe to

these are gateway behaviours

or at least they are for me.

and I feel I'm getting a little lax....

And naturally race and place colour everything a different hue and stil...

bell hooks and We Real Cool: Black Men and Masculinity is helping me as I reflect

duh