Subject to Change

I think I legally changed my name four years ago. One of these blogs should have the official documentation--lord knows I have too many papers strewn around my room to pretend like I could find it. J/k I know exactly where it is. Alas, lack of motivation as I get ready for bed...

But I've got the name change itch again. I'm getting tired of this surname I chose for myself--my maternal grandmother's maiden name, actually. It's a slave-holder's name, and that's been grating on my nerves more and more these last few months. And the fact that I don't feel like it's mine, although Intook it. I make an effort to respond to it, and I don't feel a connection to it, like I did to the surname that was given to me. Although I cringed at the constant mispronounciation of that surname, but I digress....

Maybe I'll just do a social transition. But that's something to continue to think about. People can be ridiculously stubborn when it comes to respecting someone's decision to go by another name. I swear, I still have relatives who would dead name me if given the chance. Again, I digress....

Lately, at my work,moles have been struggling to call me by my name. And, like, I have no clue why it's challenging. I work in an org where there are so few anglicized names, that Aurien should not be an issue. Well, the sounds in my name are very rigid, and that's real. Incidentally, it's the native English speakers. For which my Patience does not extend. Because, if you can't remember to pronounce my name, then it's just negligence and ignorance, two things I have increasingly LESS time for in my life.

What was I talking about again?

Oh yes.  I think aim gonna change my name. Again.

Or maybe I'll just keep it. I don't want the hassle of transitioning all the documents 🙄🙄🙄

But I've already decided that my kids will have a different surname than mine. I have an Idea, but like so much of my life, that Idea may be subject to change. Change is good, though. I'm living and leaning that....