Journeys into the Medical Industrial Complex

Monday I went to see the chiropractor.  I was skeptical, as I am of all establishments that claim to provide medical treatment.  Something about the racialised medical system and being African American and reading Medical Apartheid, I dunno....  -____-

Now, I'd been recommended to Dr Wendy by a trans* person but I still had doubts because she's white (or looks it).  Since coming into my trans* identity, I find that if I'm not discriminated against by medical 'professionals' for being Black, it's because I'm trans* and it's really disappointing how providers get so hung up on my gender (which like doesn't matter if my shoulder aches) that they are unable to see past my identities to a patient in need of care.

Anyhow, this was not the case with Dr Wendy.  She was super friendly, had a detailed discussion about my pain with me, talked through her ideas of treatments BEFORE even touching me, and constantly checked in during the appointment. Bonus was I got to keep my shirt and my shoes on, because I've heard that some chiropractors make you strip.  :squick: Working with Dr Wendy gives me hope that not all providers are racist, transphobic bigots who bring their biases and phobias into the workplace.  And I'm letting every trans*person know about how awesome and friendly and professional she is.

Dr Wendy is the first good experience I've had with the medical industry in...  hmm, well after thinking for 30 seconds I'm still drawing a blank.  Which, that's telling.... -____- Anyway, I think the hardest thing about finding care as a marginalised person is the fact that I have to do so much research to 1) find a provider, 2) get over my medical anxiety to even make an appt and 3) brace myself for the real potential of being discriminated against. I'm one of the individuals privileged enough to have insurance--it comes with a steep personal cost, but that's another blog--and I am increasingly having to pay out-of-pocket because many of the providers in my insurance network are unskilled to handle non-normative folks.  And it's frustrating and infuriating and nerve-wracking and makes me put off seeking care for things that need to be taken care of, like this chronic back pain, because my mental health suffers with the alienation and invalidation I have to endure to have treatment.  It's a really nasty exchange and this past year I've chosen to preserve my emotional health at the price of my body's well-being.  No one should have to make such a choice, and it's my reality and the reality of other non-normative folks. I'm just lucky enough to have conscious providers within relatively close. And by taht I mean the 2.5 hr bus ride to Seattle.

I have an appt next week at a place I know has a high clientele of people of colour and trans*folks and I still have minour anxiety attacks when I thing about going. The scars of the medical industrial complex take generations to heal....