Oil Sheen

Sometimes I stop and think about my pronouns and how these impact the ways that people see and perceive me.

The pronouns I use for myself are they/them. I feel that this is as close as words can get to defining my gender identity--the closest words can get to capturing the fluidity, complexity, and constant fluctuations of my gender.

But I also use he/him. With family, whose priorities are really rooted in survival and just making it form day to day, I keep it simple. They See me. And while it may not be in the ways that I See myself, I know that they are working on Seeing me for who I am. And I appreciate these efforts.  I also use he/him with folks I don't know well (and don't care to know well), friends' families, and elders. I mean, if the conversation comes up and we wanna wax philosophical about gender and gender identity, let's go for it. But usually that's not the case.

And then there are people who use she/her. I used to get really worked up and pissed off when I was pronouned as such, but now I'm re-thinking that anger. I feel taht I'm (FINALLY) in a place where I can say that it's fine and completely resonable that not everyone is going to recognise me for the person I have decided I am.

I've also been doing a ot of thinking about how I know that I will not always use they/them as my pronouns. I can say with certainty that one day I'll most likely go back to binary pronouns. Taht doesn't mean my gender will be any less complex or layered--it just means I'll use a she or a he primarily.

But for now, they/and them are "preferred".