Anger and Discontent

I've been brooding a lot lately on the source of my anger and discontent, and I've narrowed it down to about three things.

1) Living in Olympia.
   - I can't really help this right now. I literally have no where else to go.  Florida is not an option. And if I get this scholarship, I have another grueling year ahead of me.  The things I put myself through...

2) Lack of sunlight.
   - This kind of come with the territory. I'll have to make a mental note to live closer to the equator from now on, not only for my sake, but for the sake of those poor people that have to suffer through my grumpiness.

3) Transitioning is making me very grumpy. Mainly because I'm still being read as a woman, when I want to be read as otherwise.  As a man...?  As a....? (.__.)
   - The only remedy is time.

I hope that in the future I'll be A LOT more pleasant. I do know that a large amount of my irritation comes from the fact that so many people around me are content to be in Olympia.  They have no escape planned nor do they seem to want to leave.   ... I just... don't understand.  How can people NOT be thinking of leaving?  I just... no entiendo.  No entiendo nada.  smh

But to each their own, yes?

I know I would be happier if I had some cohorts to associate with.  Trans cohorts specifically.  Community always makes me feel somewhat bette, even though I spend most of my time avoiding people.  M only concern would be the unwarranted influence folks have on me.  I'm a blank canvas and I know people carry around hella-huge paintbrushes and that would just not be a great combination.  I want to develop my own sense of self without others' biases about how to be or how to do things.  But I'm not exactly sure if either way is the best.  Maybe some sort of compromise?  I dunno...