El Gimnasio

Ah, the gym...  A whole new territory as a trans* person.

Luckily for me, there are two family-style restrooms on the second floor with lockers.  But I imagine what my life would be like if Evergreen wasn't accommodation to families, because they certainly aren't thinking about trans* individuals.  But then again, most of the world doesn't.  I must lower my standards.

Anyhow, it took me a few weeks of inner turmoil to move my things from the women's locker-room upstairs to the family restrooms.  I would say the biggest reason it took so long was because I didn't want to give up my access to the sauna.  I love the sauna. I swear up and down by the sauna. The sauna can make any hurt feel better, from sprained ankles, to sore shoulders to yucky, moldy coughs from the damp Pacific NW.  It has to be one of my favourite places on the entire campus and I didn't want to lose access to it.

Another reason was I would have to go back into the women's locker-room.  I've been presenting more masculine since the beginning of the month, and I was afraid of the static I would get going back in there.  But it was easy, and I managed to haul all my things in one trip.

The final reason it took me so long to move on up was that moving my things from the women's locker-room would be  my final relinquishing of my cis-privilege.  That's a huge privilege to give up, esp in our Western society.  There are so many thing s I took for granted when I was presenting according to society's rules.  They fall into even sharper relief now.

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Today I had my first foray into the gym in about two weeks.  It's really interesting, the mindset I take when I'm in that space.  Everything shuts down.  Some of it's conscious, like I never cruise when I'm in the gym.  That's not what I'm there for, and I don't think anyone else should be either.  IT's a space to focus on one's self, but that's just me. ;)  Also, I disengage from my gender.  I'm literally another body int eh space working out.  I recenter and purge and the last thing I'm concerned with is my gender.  Except when I'm in the weight-room.

The weight-room.  I've never officially entered it, only walked past.  It's such a hypermasculine space, and I don't consider myself thus.  I would love to go ina nd be able to use the free weights; I've read that they're better when doing actual weight training.  But, uh, I just don' t have the patience to combat the patriarchy that goes on in there.  I do it every other moment of my Life.  I think I'll just stick tot he cardio room.  :)